The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
I can be a real dick sometimes.  Case in point: I was in the fourth grade when the first Harry Potter book was published.  I should have loved it; I was a voracious reader and I had a total latent hard-on for magic, but for some reason the whole thing stunk of fad to me.  That it was being cast upon me by adults, and that all the other kids were reading it, also, and that it was being discussed by everyone, and that it came with a whole slew of merchandise attached to it, and that it was about wizards and wizards are fantasy creatures and I only read sci-fi because sci-fi is awesome and fantasy sucks, and for many other reasons (I’m sure) I did not read that book.  Nor did I read the six that came to follow.  In fact, the only passages I have ever read in any Harry Potter book come from the final two of the series.  The first was a single page from Book 6— the one in which (spoiler alert) Snape kills Dumbledore, one of the biggest reveals in the series— which my friend scanned in and posted on every HP Livejournal community the day it come out.  The second passage was the epilogue at the end of Book 7, which I skipped to after crashing on my friend Jen’s couch. She had pre-ordered her copy and I just happened to be the one to answer the door when the FedEx guy brought it.  So now I know Harry Potter isn’t worth my time, because Dumblebore is dead and everything turns out okay for Harry in the end anyway.  And sixteen years later, the whole thing still stinks of fad to me.
But guess what: The Hunger Games are totally different!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  This book kicks ass.  Fuck Harry Potter.  He sucks and everything he does is complete bullshit!!!!!!!!!!!  Katniss Everdeen is fucking boss and if they ever met in real life (humor me) she would shoot Harry Potter in the chest with an arrow and he would bleed to death and that is SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Kids have it way better these days.  Yeah, I saw the movie first.  But the movie was great!  And maybe (keep in mind here that I can be a real dick sometimes) I scoffed at all of those adults I saw reading a YA novel with a dumb bird on the cover on the train.  But I was wrong, and those adults are American Heroes!  I only wish this book were three times longer.
…OH, WAIT!

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

I can be a real dick sometimes.  Case in point: I was in the fourth grade when the first Harry Potter book was published.  I should have loved it; I was a voracious reader and I had a total latent hard-on for magic, but for some reason the whole thing stunk of fad to me.  That it was being cast upon me by adults, and that all the other kids were reading it, also, and that it was being discussed by everyone, and that it came with a whole slew of merchandise attached to it, and that it was about wizards and wizards are fantasy creatures and I only read sci-fi because sci-fi is awesome and fantasy sucks, and for many other reasons (I’m sure) I did not read that book.  Nor did I read the six that came to follow.  In fact, the only passages I have ever read in any Harry Potter book come from the final two of the series.  The first was a single page from Book 6— the one in which (spoiler alert) Snape kills Dumbledore, one of the biggest reveals in the series— which my friend scanned in and posted on every HP Livejournal community the day it come out.  The second passage was the epilogue at the end of Book 7, which I skipped to after crashing on my friend Jen’s couch. She had pre-ordered her copy and I just happened to be the one to answer the door when the FedEx guy brought it.  So now I know Harry Potter isn’t worth my time, because Dumblebore is dead and everything turns out okay for Harry in the end anyway.  And sixteen years later, the whole thing still stinks of fad to me.

But guess what: The Hunger Games are totally different!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  This book kicks ass.  Fuck Harry Potter.  He sucks and everything he does is complete bullshit!!!!!!!!!!!  Katniss Everdeen is fucking boss and if they ever met in real life (humor me) she would shoot Harry Potter in the chest with an arrow and he would bleed to death and that is SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Kids have it way better these days.  Yeah, I saw the movie first.  But the movie was great!  And maybe (keep in mind here that I can be a real dick sometimes) I scoffed at all of those adults I saw reading a YA novel with a dumb bird on the cover on the train.  But I was wrong, and those adults are American Heroes!  I only wish this book were three times longer.

…OH, WAIT!

The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury
I had the weirdest fucking dream, you guys.  I had just finished reading The Martian Chronicles for the first time since I was in middle school and I guess I had “Mars” on the “brain,” because in this dream I was writing a short story and it took place on fucking MARS. In the story within my dream, a family like this lazes around their terrace.  But this is no ordinary terrace because this terrace is on FUCKING MARS!!!!!!!! And the attached building is retro-modern, a la the Farnsworth house, and the whole structure is towards the peak of a long sloping hill of red dust at the bottom of which is the shore of an endless blue lake.   Anyway, the husband is barbecuing on the terrace while his wife sunbathes (No silly Mars pun here; it’s the same sun as always, you dumb-dumb!) when suddenly she’s all like, “What about the fireworks?” and he’s all like, “Of course!” and slapping himself on the head or whatever the fuck I don’t know it’s a fucking dream I can barely remember it gimme a break you guys.  So then he grabs this small tin drum and runs as fast as can down the slope of the hill.  When he reaches the water, he jumps in and swims out about two hundred feet.  Then he flails around like he’s drowning until a helicopter swoops down and the pilot grabs the tin drum out from under his arm.  While the helicopter flies off, the husband swims back to the shore and returns to the terrace as quickly as he can, arriving just in time to watch the tin drum explode, killing the pilot and reducing the helicopter to smoke and ashes.  The family gathers around the barbecue, hugging and smiling.  Then I wake up…
0…ON FUCKING MARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :0
Not really.  But I did wake up.  And my question is this: WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?
MORE INCIDENTAL STORIES ABOUT MY RE-READING OF THE MARTIAN CHRONICLES:
-At the moment in the last story when the Earth explodes, a bolt of lightning shook my house and we lost power and for about five minutes, if only for my familiarity with the ramblings of Glenn Beck, I thought an EMP had been detonated.
-Because I read this book as a child, I know where all the Indians went now.
-Ray Bradbury died.

The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury

I had the weirdest fucking dream, you guys.  I had just finished reading The Martian Chronicles for the first time since I was in middle school and I guess I had “Mars” on the “brain,” because in this dream I was writing a short story and it took place on fucking MARS. In the story within my dream, a family like this lazes around their terrace.  But this is no ordinary terrace because this terrace is on FUCKING MARS!!!!!!!! And the attached building is retro-modern, a la the Farnsworth house, and the whole structure is towards the peak of a long sloping hill of red dust at the bottom of which is the shore of an endless blue lake.   Anyway, the husband is barbecuing on the terrace while his wife sunbathes (No silly Mars pun here; it’s the same sun as always, you dumb-dumb!) when suddenly she’s all like, “What about the fireworks?” and he’s all like, “Of course!” and slapping himself on the head or whatever the fuck I don’t know it’s a fucking dream I can barely remember it gimme a break you guys.  So then he grabs this small tin drum and runs as fast as can down the slope of the hill.  When he reaches the water, he jumps in and swims out about two hundred feet.  Then he flails around like he’s drowning until a helicopter swoops down and the pilot grabs the tin drum out from under his arm.  While the helicopter flies off, the husband swims back to the shore and returns to the terrace as quickly as he can, arriving just in time to watch the tin drum explode, killing the pilot and reducing the helicopter to smoke and ashes.  The family gathers around the barbecue, hugging and smiling.  Then I wake up…

0…ON FUCKING MARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :0

Not really.  But I did wake up.  And my question is this: WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

MORE INCIDENTAL STORIES ABOUT MY RE-READING OF THE MARTIAN CHRONICLES:

-At the moment in the last story when the Earth explodes, a bolt of lightning shook my house and we lost power and for about five minutes, if only for my familiarity with the ramblings of Glenn Beck, I thought an EMP had been detonated.

-Because I read this book as a child, I know where all the Indians went now.

-Ray Bradbury died.

The Female Man by Joanna Russ
I bought The Female Man at a nice little bookshop in Philadelphia where, if I’m not careful, I may spend all of my money in the future.

The Female Man by Joanna Russ


I bought The Female Man at a nice little bookshop in Philadelphia where, if I’m not careful, I may spend all of my money in the future.

Neuromancer by William Gibson
Cool.

Neuromancer by William Gibson


Cool.

The Dispossessed by Ursula K. Le Guin
I owe Ursula K. Le Guin an apology.  A big one, and I owe it to her because I’m about to write a medium- to long-length blog post comparing and contrasting her with Ayn Rand.  My only reason for this, which may not be at all strong enough, is that they are both women writers who write politically charged allegorical novels with a strong u- and dystopian bent.  But one might refer to Rand as the “wrong-headed Ursula K. Le Guin,” and, conversely, one might call Le Guin the “not-retarded Ayn Rand.”  And they would be correct. 
The Dispossessed is a “soft science-fiction” account of the Cetians, a race of humans from a planet in the Tau Ceti star system.  Two hundred years prior to the narrative, a small community of egalitarian anarchists seceded from their home planet (Urras) and settled on their desolate, germ-free moon (Anarres), where they set up an anarcho-syndicalist non-government (if you don’t feel like reading that whole wikipedia page, which you should, anarcho-syndicalism is a method of resource and labor distribution in which there are no bureaucratic hierarchies, all prescribed work is voluntary, and private property doesn’t exist.  This last point goes so far that the possessive ends of language are nullified, ie. “my parents” becomes “the parents,” and even “my hands” becomes “the hands”, as in “the hands hurt.”).  In the present, the moon society is secure, but not particularly thriving.  A talented physicist named Shevek decides to travel to the home world in an attempt to reunite the cultures of both societies, which have completely isolated themselves from each other.  The anarchists consider him a traitor; the “propertarians” of Urras consider him an amusing mascot.
Unlike more toss-off, Larry Niven-ish sci-fi, Le Guin’s fiction has actual cultural value.  Her story is a literary allegory for a series of political and social beliefs.  Which, unfortunately, is what elevates it into the realm of discussions about Ayn Rand.  Rand’s own sci-fi collectivist allegory, Anthem, is a staunch criticism of community, and her message at the end of the novel is clear: some people are better than other people, and they deserve more.  She expands this idea in The Fountainhead (you can read more of my thoughts about it here), which, while not as science-fictiony, certainly elevates her concept of the übermensch.  By setting her story in a world that resembles the real world in every way (minus the ways that people act and the consequences of the actions her characters take), she turns her concept into a lauding of redefined pseudo-real world values like integrity and freedom, while sticking it to their inevitable antonyms, kindness and charity.  I have not yet read Atlas Shrugged so I won’t discuss it in detail, but from what I hear it’s a pro-business allegory about high-speed trains (which, in real life, hardcore capitalists hate).
I admit my bias; my political leanings veer far in the direction of Le Guin.  But it’s important to note that, unlike Rand, Le Guin offers criticisms of her system.  In fact, it’s hardly “her system” at all.  She acknowledges that a functioning anarchy is impossible, and that to attempt one is a negative symptom of idealism (the subtitle of the story is “an ambiguous utopia”).  And she acknowledges that property-obsessed societies are capable of producing technological and cultural marvels, which, without private investment, would be impossible.  And she’s right.  Le Guin’s novel is less an advocation of one system than a study of both.
And here her work differs from Rand’s.  In both The Fountainhead and Anthem, Rand offered no perspective but her own.  The characters who oppose her twisted vision of “integrity” are depicted as slimy and incompetent and sometimes, as in the case of Ellsworth Toohey (a character who makes no sense and doesn’t seem to represent any sort of real life anything), super-villainous.  Rand’s work isn’t really an argument for her philosophy, because an argument needs to address a real issue.  Rand’s “argument” addresses her redefined notions of selfishness (good), kindness (bad), community (bad), and rape (good).  She invents situations which no one in their right mind would disagree with (there’s a good thing and a bad thing, and everyone in the world decides to do the bad thing.  Everybody but one man and that makes him a hero), but have no grounding in the real world, and uses those as justifications of her point.  It’s not an argument as much as it is political marketing.
The thesis of my argument is this: Rand is celebrated for her belief and insight.  Le Guin is considered a fringe figure and a genre specialist despite the fact that she is (1) a better writer and (2) in possession (or dispossession.  Get it?  Anyone?) of stronger reasoning faculties.  I think we need to reconsider who we venerate.
I’m sorry, Ursula.  I had to do it.  For the greater good.

The Dispossessed by Ursula K. Le Guin

I owe Ursula K. Le Guin an apology.  A big one, and I owe it to her because I’m about to write a medium- to long-length blog post comparing and contrasting her with Ayn Rand.  My only reason for this, which may not be at all strong enough, is that they are both women writers who write politically charged allegorical novels with a strong u- and dystopian bent.  But one might refer to Rand as the “wrong-headed Ursula K. Le Guin,” and, conversely, one might call Le Guin the “not-retarded Ayn Rand.”  And they would be correct. 

The Dispossessed is a “soft science-fiction” account of the Cetians, a race of humans from a planet in the Tau Ceti star system.  Two hundred years prior to the narrative, a small community of egalitarian anarchists seceded from their home planet (Urras) and settled on their desolate, germ-free moon (Anarres), where they set up an anarcho-syndicalist non-government (if you don’t feel like reading that whole wikipedia page, which you should, anarcho-syndicalism is a method of resource and labor distribution in which there are no bureaucratic hierarchies, all prescribed work is voluntary, and private property doesn’t exist.  This last point goes so far that the possessive ends of language are nullified, ie. “my parents” becomes “the parents,” and even “my hands” becomes “the hands”, as in “the hands hurt.”).  In the present, the moon society is secure, but not particularly thriving.  A talented physicist named Shevek decides to travel to the home world in an attempt to reunite the cultures of both societies, which have completely isolated themselves from each other.  The anarchists consider him a traitor; the “propertarians” of Urras consider him an amusing mascot.

Unlike more toss-off, Larry Niven-ish sci-fi, Le Guin’s fiction has actual cultural value.  Her story is a literary allegory for a series of political and social beliefs.  Which, unfortunately, is what elevates it into the realm of discussions about Ayn Rand.  Rand’s own sci-fi collectivist allegory, Anthem, is a staunch criticism of community, and her message at the end of the novel is clear: some people are better than other people, and they deserve more.  She expands this idea in The Fountainhead (you can read more of my thoughts about it here), which, while not as science-fictiony, certainly elevates her concept of the übermensch.  By setting her story in a world that resembles the real world in every way (minus the ways that people act and the consequences of the actions her characters take), she turns her concept into a lauding of redefined pseudo-real world values like integrity and freedom, while sticking it to their inevitable antonyms, kindness and charity.  I have not yet read Atlas Shrugged so I won’t discuss it in detail, but from what I hear it’s a pro-business allegory about high-speed trains (which, in real life, hardcore capitalists hate).

I admit my bias; my political leanings veer far in the direction of Le Guin.  But it’s important to note that, unlike Rand, Le Guin offers criticisms of her system.  In fact, it’s hardly “her system” at all.  She acknowledges that a functioning anarchy is impossible, and that to attempt one is a negative symptom of idealism (the subtitle of the story is “an ambiguous utopia”).  And she acknowledges that property-obsessed societies are capable of producing technological and cultural marvels, which, without private investment, would be impossible.  And she’s right.  Le Guin’s novel is less an advocation of one system than a study of both.

And here her work differs from Rand’s.  In both The Fountainhead and Anthem, Rand offered no perspective but her own.  The characters who oppose her twisted vision of “integrity” are depicted as slimy and incompetent and sometimes, as in the case of Ellsworth Toohey (a character who makes no sense and doesn’t seem to represent any sort of real life anything), super-villainous.  Rand’s work isn’t really an argument for her philosophy, because an argument needs to address a real issue.  Rand’s “argument” addresses her redefined notions of selfishness (good), kindness (bad), community (bad), and rape (good).  She invents situations which no one in their right mind would disagree with (there’s a good thing and a bad thing, and everyone in the world decides to do the bad thing.  Everybody but one man and that makes him a hero), but have no grounding in the real world, and uses those as justifications of her point.  It’s not an argument as much as it is political marketing.

The thesis of my argument is this: Rand is celebrated for her belief and insight.  Le Guin is considered a fringe figure and a genre specialist despite the fact that she is (1) a better writer and (2) in possession (or dispossession.  Get it?  Anyone?) of stronger reasoning faculties.  I think we need to reconsider who we venerate.

I’m sorry, Ursula.  I had to do it.  For the greater good.

Super Sad True Love Story by Gary Shteyngart
The #1 reason I felt compelled to purchase and read this novel isn’t its catchy, postmodern title, nor its Rendezvous With Rama - evoking cover, nor its madly hilarious web-video advertisements starring Shteyngart with the likes of James Franco and Paul Giamatti and a long-haired dachshund named Felix.  No.  Those were reasons 2, 4, and 5 (3, as always, is a secret).  Reason 1 was this: a few people, people who don’t know each other, have met Shteyngart or seen him read, and all have commented that he reminded them of me, and I am a vain, vain man.  Seriously.  You know weathervanes?  They were going to call them “weatherBens.”  And yes, arteries carry blood away from the heart, but “Bens” carry deoxygenated white blood cells to it.  And I do think this song is about me.  Etc.  ‘Cause I’m so vain.
Anyway, so I bought and read this book.  In theory, it is brilliant.  It is hilarious and depressing and set in a semi-post-apocalyptic future, allowing it to straddle the genres of humor, big “L” literature, and science fiction, and making it exactly the kind of novel I would be working on right now.  Scratch the, like, nine ideas I had on the big pad this month.  (Disclaimer: there is no big pad.)  And it’s so bleak!  America is a fascist dictatorship; people with low credit scores are routinely rounded up and shot; people with good credit scores are “debt bombed” into purchasing loans on the streets; rich young people walk around in see-through underwear and are ranked on “fuckability” via iPad-like devices by everyone they come in contact with; hipster Williamsburg, Brooklyn has been relocated to St. George, Staten Island; everyone is numbed by porn, and; no one reads anymore.  Plus, because Shteyngart wrote it, it’s so Jewy!  It’s kind of like if Woody Allen took a stab at directing “Children of Men.”
Anyway, conceptually, it is brilliant.  Practically, it can be tiresome at points.  It’s a book I would recommend and I understand why it’s on so many top ten lists this year, but Doris Lessing it is not.

Super Sad True Love Story by Gary Shteyngart

The #1 reason I felt compelled to purchase and read this novel isn’t its catchy, postmodern title, nor its Rendezvous With Rama - evoking cover, nor its madly hilarious web-video advertisements starring Shteyngart with the likes of James Franco and Paul Giamatti and a long-haired dachshund named Felix.  No.  Those were reasons 2, 4, and 5 (3, as always, is a secret).  Reason 1 was this: a few people, people who don’t know each other, have met Shteyngart or seen him read, and all have commented that he reminded them of me, and I am a vain, vain man.  Seriously.  You know weathervanes?  They were going to call them “weatherBens.”  And yes, arteries carry blood away from the heart, but “Bens” carry deoxygenated white blood cells to it.  And I do think this song is about me.  Etc.  ‘Cause I’m so vain.

Anyway, so I bought and read this book.  In theory, it is brilliant.  It is hilarious and depressing and set in a semi-post-apocalyptic future, allowing it to straddle the genres of humor, big “L” literature, and science fiction, and making it exactly the kind of novel I would be working on right now.  Scratch the, like, nine ideas I had on the big pad this month.  (Disclaimer: there is no big pad.)  And it’s so bleak!  America is a fascist dictatorship; people with low credit scores are routinely rounded up and shot; people with good credit scores are “debt bombed” into purchasing loans on the streets; rich young people walk around in see-through underwear and are ranked on “fuckability” via iPad-like devices by everyone they come in contact with; hipster Williamsburg, Brooklyn has been relocated to St. George, Staten Island; everyone is numbed by porn, and; no one reads anymore.  Plus, because Shteyngart wrote it, it’s so Jewy!  It’s kind of like if Woody Allen took a stab at directing “Children of Men.”

Anyway, conceptually, it is brilliant.  Practically, it can be tiresome at points.  It’s a book I would recommend and I understand why it’s on so many top ten lists this year, but Doris Lessing it is not.

The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch by Philip K. Dick
It should be stated outright that the cover of this book is atrocious.  Atrocious and stupid.  Atrocious and stupid and I will not forgive it.  I’ve seen books with worse covers; they haven’t bothered me like this one has because they didn’t have the fucking awesome book cover that this one was flaunted on its initial edition.  Look at that cover here.  If anyone has a copy of this book with that cover, let me know and I’ll haggle you for it.
Irregardless,
Philip K. Dick was an exemplary sci-fi writer: his concepts were brilliant, his writing was adequate, and his works were entertaining enough to win the Hugo and Nebula awards for science fiction (Dick is exceptionally talented, but those organizations have a history of doling out their “coveted” awards to really shitty books).  Many great sci-fi movies were based on Dick stories (Blade Runner, Total Recall, Minority Report, A Scanner Darkly.  Bad Dick adaptations include Next, Screamers, Imposter, Paycheck, and The Adjustment Bureau).  But they never did anything with The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch.  How could they?  The story takes place over the course of three or four eternal daydreams.  Much of the action is in a single apartment on Mars (described alluringly as a “hovel”).  And Dick’s prediction calendar was so, so wrong.  This book was written in 1965 and is set in 2016.  The UN has colonized six planets.  At noon on Earth, outside temperatures reach 180 degrees.  Traveling to the next inhabited star system and back takes six years.  That’s a stretch.
I’m being too hard on this book.  Dick’s goal wasn’t so much about accuracy as it was about exploring the limitations of psychedelic drugs, and what he came up with was fascinating.  It’s a lot of fun, and it gave me something to do for two hours on the side of the NJ Turnpike waiting for a mechanic whose small talk was “So, what do you think about this 2012 thing?” to come fix my exploded tire. 
Bonus Material: Here’s a 1973 Rolling Stone article on Dick which cites The Three Stigmata… as “the classic LSD novel of all time.”

The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch by Philip K. Dick

It should be stated outright that the cover of this book is atrocious.  Atrocious and stupid.  Atrocious and stupid and I will not forgive it.  I’ve seen books with worse covers; they haven’t bothered me like this one has because they didn’t have the fucking awesome book cover that this one was flaunted on its initial edition.  Look at that cover here.  If anyone has a copy of this book with that cover, let me know and I’ll haggle you for it.


Irregardless,

Philip K. Dick was an exemplary sci-fi writer: his concepts were brilliant, his writing was adequate, and his works were entertaining enough to win the Hugo and Nebula awards for science fiction (Dick is exceptionally talented, but those organizations have a history of doling out their “coveted” awards to really shitty books).  Many great sci-fi movies were based on Dick stories (Blade Runner, Total Recall, Minority Report, A Scanner Darkly.  Bad Dick adaptations include Next, Screamers, Imposter, Paycheck, and The Adjustment Bureau).  But they never did anything with The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch.  How could they?  The story takes place over the course of three or four eternal daydreams.  Much of the action is in a single apartment on Mars (described alluringly as a “hovel”).  And Dick’s prediction calendar was so, so wrong.  This book was written in 1965 and is set in 2016.  The UN has colonized six planets.  At noon on Earth, outside temperatures reach 180 degrees.  Traveling to the next inhabited star system and back takes six years.  That’s a stretch.

I’m being too hard on this book.  Dick’s goal wasn’t so much about accuracy as it was about exploring the limitations of psychedelic drugs, and what he came up with was fascinating.  It’s a lot of fun, and it gave me something to do for two hours on the side of the NJ Turnpike waiting for a mechanic whose small talk was “So, what do you think about this 2012 thing?” to come fix my exploded tire. 

Bonus Material: Here’s a 1973 Rolling Stone article on Dick which cites The Three Stigmata… as “the classic LSD novel of all time.”